What Does It Take To Have A Good Home Life?

In looking for some kind of uplifting reading this morning that I didn't create myself, I came across this writing about home life from C. S. Lewis. I admit I'm a fan of his, simply because he is so clear and unbiased in his teaching about being a Christian. This piece is from God In the Dock, and I believe it addresses some of our very big problems at this time. And it seems to me that people like Lewis--who study and write, observing others as they go--are ahead of their time in more ways than he could imagine. So here straight out of the book are some thought-provoking words.

Realistic Expectations ~

If Christian teachers wish to recall Christian people to domesticity--and I, for one, believe that people must be recalled to it--the first necessity is to stop telling lies about home life and to substitute realistic teaching. Perhaps the fundamental principles would be something like this.

1. Since the Fall no organization or way of life whatever has a natural tendency to go right.... The family, like the nation, can be offered to God, can be converted and redeemed, and will then become the channel of particular blessings and graces. But, like everything else that is human, it needs redemption. Unredeemed, it will produce only particular temptations, corruptions, and miseries. Charity begins at home: so does uncharity.

2. By the conversion or sanctification of family life we must be careful to mean something more than the preservation of "love" in the sense of natural affection. Love (in that sense) is not enough. Affection, as distinct from charity, is not a cause of lasting happiness. Left to its natural bent affection becomes in the end greedy, naggingly solicitious, jealous, exacting, timorous. It suffers agony when its object is absent--but is not repaid by any long enjoyment when the object is present.... The greed to be loved is a fearful thing....

3. We must realize the yawning pitfall in that very characteristic of home life which is so often glibly paraded as its principal attraction. "It is there that we appear as we really are: it is there that we can fling aside the disguises and be ourselves." ... In fact, he [such a person] values home as the place where he can "be himself" in the sense of trampling on all the restraints which civilized humanity has found indispensable for tolerable social intercourse. And this, I think is very common. What chiefly distinguishes domestic from public conversation is surely very often simply its downright rudeness. What distinguishes domestic behavior is often its selfishness, slovenliness, incivility--even brutality....

4. How, then, are people to behave at home? If a man can't be comfortable and unguarded, can't take his ease and "be himself" in his own house, where can he? That is, I confess, the trouble. The answer is an alarming one. There is nowhere this side of heaven where one can safely lay the reins on the horse's neck. It will never be lawful simply to "be ourselves" until "ourselves" have become sons of God....

Must we not abandon sentimental eulogies and begin to give practical advise on the high, hard, lovely, and adventurous art of creating the Christian family?

Whoooo! Whoooo! I couldn't have said it better myself--which is always the problem: someone else has already said it much better than I. But I am thankful for such good common sense about a problem that is plaguing not only our country, but the whole world. And as usual, I'm asking you to give some thought to your part in the inner sanctum of your own family. It really is up to you!

Many blessings on this windy Monday--at least here in Albuquerque. Winter is rushing in with a big blow which has already begun this morning. Some areas east and north of us will see snow today.

Mimi